Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCT. 27 - NOV. 2, 2003
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PEOPLE
Mike Tyson Comes Out in Support of Kobe Bryant in His Rape Case
Despite vocal pleas from Bryant's attorneys to “Please, go away.
Woody Allen Reportedly
Shopping His Autobiography

Hopes to get big advance for “From Hilarious Nebbish to Immoral Gonif.”
 
INTERNET
Worldwide Online Population Growing
Estimated five hundred million lonely people now use the web.
EBay Auctioned Off on EBay
Everything disappears.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Elvis Tops Forbes List of
Top-Earning Dead Celebs

A spokesman for the late entertainer says “he’s thrilled.”
“The Reagans” Mini-Series Causing Controversy
Some object to script, which is based solely on Jane Wyman's memoirs.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Coffee May Prevent
Colon Cancer

Combined with masturbation, may help prevent prostate cancer.
Viagra Challenged By Levitra
Levitra challenged by Staminix, Phallactin, Erectra, Woodypropin, Hardenol, Risamax, Staypitor, and Bonadryl.
 
SCIENCE
Huge Solar
Flare Briefly
Disrupts Satellite Communications

For nearly twenty-three minutes, Fox News is fair and balanced.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Tall People Earn More
Than Short People

Based on comparison of NBA players' salaries.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Fish in Lake Near Dallas
Found on Prozac

Researchers alarmed by implications, fish relaxed about it.

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