Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOVEMBER 24 - 30, 2003
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PEOPLE
Clinton Offered $2 Million by Chinese Company
His ads for “Boxer Rebellion” line of underwear would run in Asia and Europe.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
CBS Drops Michael Jackson
Holiday Special

It will air instead on Showtime.
TV: Holiday Broadcast of
“Heidi” Cut Short

NBC angers viewers by switching to Oakland-New York football game.
 
BUSINESS
New Tough Cop at SEC Slaps Harsh Penalties on Mutual Fund Criminals
Donaldson says Putnam execs “will never play bridge at the Yale Club again.”
 
ADVERTISING
Major Ad Blitz Launched to Humanize War
Public service spots feature pretty gals, cheery music, and nuclear warheads.
SCIENCE
Harvard Study: Test May Be Possible To Detect False Memories
First to be tested: Harvard historians.
New Species of Whale
Discovered in Japan

Rorqual whales range in length from 26 to 92 feet, and are “quite tasty.”
 
SPECIAL FEATURE
 
VOCABULARY BUILDER
A tariff is an unfair obstacle to free trade in which a poor nation slaps extra charges on imports from a rich nation so the poor nation's citizens can sell their own products at home.
A subsidy is a reasonable payment from a rich nation to powerful business interests so they can undersell products made by the poor nation's citizens in the poor nation.
 
INTERNET
Online Dating Helping Other Businesses
Great Dates, a fig and date importer, reports 400% increase in its online sales.
Spam Really Works, Say Spammers
They point to the millions of enlarged penises around the world.

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