Ironic Times

 NO. 168 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 1 - 7, 2003 

Nov 24
Dec 8
 
  BUSH TO SEND 100,000 HOLIDAY SHOPPERS TO IRAQ
Will help troops push, shove, trample Saddam loyalists.
 
WORLD NEWS
Report: Saudis Intend to
Purchase Nuclear Weapons

As party favors.
North Korea Agrees to Delay
Launching World War III

If other nations ask really nicely.
 
BUSINESS
Responding to Complaints, Dell
Moves Tech Support From India
To Texas, Idaho, Tennessee

Where calls will be fielded by Bangladeshis.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
First Map of Internet Published
You are here (arrow).
U. S. NEWS
Insurance, Pharmaceutical Companies Criticize Medicare Bill
Although it gives them billions in subsidies while the poor and elderly pay more, there are “several grammatical errors,” says a spokesman.
Millions Pour in to Bush
Re-Election Drive

Billions in Iraq reconstruction contracts pour out.
 
REMINDER
  Somewhere in the world is your exact
  double who has stolen your identity.
 
FBI Not Using War on Terror as “Cover” for Spying on Demonstrators
Doing it “strictly for fun,” says spokesman.
Tough New Bill Cracks Down
On All Kinds of Spam

Except for penile enhancement products, fake university diplomas, and anything from Nigeria.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Bush Wants to Open National
Forests to Timber Industry to
Prevent Fires

Also: would fill Grand Canyon with toxic waste to prevent people from falling in.
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