Ironic Times

 NO. 170 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 15 - 21, 2003 

Dec 8
Dec 22
 
SADDAM CAPTURED
$25 million reward will be given to tyrant's disgruntled former barber.
WORLD NEWS
Half of New Iraqi Army Quits
Over Pay

They can get a better dental plan fighting for insurgents.
UN: At Present Birth Rate, Earth's Population Will Be 134 Trillion in 2300
Or 134, if there's a nuclear war.
 
MILESTONES
Dec. 17, 1903: Wright Brothers Successfully Fly First Airplane
But their luggage ends up on another flight.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Signs Sweeping Medicare Bill
Sweeps Medicare under the rug.
Customer Complaint Center Jobs Moving Overseas
Number one complaint: customer complaint center jobs moving overseas.
FCC: You Can't Take it With You
New rules forbid consumers from keeping their phone number when they die.
 
REMINDER
   Smile, you're under twenty-four
   hour surveillance.
 
Bush May Revive Moon Program
“Operation Lunar Freedom” would involve preemptive landing, lengthy occupation, years of chaos.
Following Videotaped Beating, Cincinnati Considers Stun Guns
Some want police to have them, others want everyone but the police to have them.
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