Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 5 - 11, 2004
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STAMPS & COINS
Postal Service Unveils Four Disney Stamps
Together they add up to enough postage to send an adult video by first class mail.
Republicans Lining Up Support
For Bill to Replace FDR on
Dime with Reagan

Jefferson would be replaced by Hoover on nickel, JFK by Nixon on half dollar.
 
SPORTS
New World Super-Heavyweight Champion Crowned
In U.S. he's classified as a middleweight.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
  Saddam Escapes
His whereabouts are unknown.
New Crystal Ball Really Comes in Handy!
This amazing little fortune teller can summon up tomorrow's closing prices on Wall St., next week's football scores, or next year's elections - and it's fun to use. Runs on two AA batteries (not included). $49.95, at all U-Wish stores.
Move Over TiVo, This Set-Top Box Does it All - And Then Some!
With the touch of a button the MediaMaven automatically records your favorite shows, eliminates the commercials, watches the shows, then erases them. Push the button and it starts all over again. $499, from Mobius Video.
Major Price Break on the Perfect Conversation Piece!
Mars Rovers, formerly million-dollar items in NASA's budget, are now within reach of the average Joe and Jill. And wouldn't one of these robotic, solar-powered vehicles spice up an otherwise deadly cocktail party? ‘Nuff said. $12,500, at all Jet Propulsion Laboratory factory outlets.

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