Ironic Times

 NO. 175 "Expect the Ironic" JANUARY 19 - 25, 2004 

Jan 12
Jan 26
 
MICHAEL JACKSON ANGRY AT MEDIA ATTENTION SURROUNDING TRIAL
Wants to get back to his normal, everyday life.
WORLD NEWS
Iraqi Shiites Reject U.S. Plan, Demand Own Innovative Form of Government
System, which determines leaders through "free elections," is called "Democracy."
North Korea: Kim Jong Il
Quits Smoking, Orders
Countrymen To Do So

Also orders them to watch six hours of Daffy Duck cartoons every day.
First Starbucks Opens in France
Notre Dame closes.
 
SPACE
Mars Rover Begins Exploring Mars
It will first look for the person taking these pictures.
U. S. NEWS
New Evidence Bush Intended
To Invade Iraq Before 9/11

Talked about it in 1989, says Sammy Sosa.
High Court Delivers Good
News to Bush Administration

They won't overturn decision allowing Justice Dept. to do whatever it wants to whomever it wants whenever and wherever it wants without telling anyone.
 
 
REMINDER
     Get drunk responsibly.
 
Steering Defect in 800,000
GM Cars Leads to Recall

Cars turn left when driver steers right, but "you get used to it," says GM spokesman.
Supreme Court Upholds
Police Roadblocks

Majority opinion by Rehnquist, Scalia,
Thomas; others detained at roadblock.
 
INTERNET
Two-Thirds of All E-Mails
Last Month Were Spam

Other third were legitimate mailings for penile enlargement.
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