Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 16 - 22, 2004
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PEOPLE
Courtney Love, Paris Hilton Appear at Benefit
The rebellious rocker with a history of drug problems and outlandish public behavior and the party-going heiress whose explicit sex tape has been seen all over the world by virtually everybody were honored for their charity work.
Barbie, Ken Split Up After 43 Years
California Barbie's personal growth had been stunted by relationship, says Divorce Lawyer Johnnie.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Oscars Add New Categories
Awards to be given for Best Remake, Best Re-Release, and Best Tired Old Story Relocated to High School.
 
MILITARY
First All-Gay Warship Commissioned
The U.S.S. Lavender will be stationed in the Pacific.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
British Report: Smoking Leads to Impotence
And vice versa.
New Test Can Reveal Drinking Habits Going Back Weeks or Months
But not years, doctors assure White House.
Medical Examiner's Report:
Dr. Atkins Was Obese

Secretly consumed vast quantities of fruits, vegetables.
 
Teen Abstinence
Campaign Goes
Nationwide

Thousands of billboards advise young people to hold off having sex until they are married.
 
SCIENCE
Human Embryos Cloned by South Korean Researchers
Breakthrough promises world made up of millions of South Korean researchers.
 
EDUCATION
Study: High School Diploma Meaningless
Graduates not prepared for college courses proving life is meaningless.

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