Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 26 - MAY 2, 2004
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PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Hawaii: 70-Foot Wave Biggest Ever Surfed
Camera captures moment as surfer rides curling slope of wave just before it washes away island of Maui.
 
PEOPLE
Time Releases List of “100 Most Influential People”
You're not on it.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Writers, Studios Begin Contentious Negotiations on New Contract
At stake: fees paid on the two shows that still employ writers.
 
BUSINESS
Sales of Barbie Dolls Down 15%
Since Breakup With Ken

She's rumored to be bingeing, bulimic.
Georgetown University Study: Big Jump In Liquor Ads Targeting Teens
Distilled Spirits Council: "No way, Dude!"
Sony's New Paper DVD Can Be Disposed of Easily
Say, after watching a movie a number of times, you decide it's indecent — all you need is a pair of scissors, and a few snips later it's as good as gone.
SCIENCE
“Mozart Effect” Observed in Rats
After listening to Sonata for Two Pianos in D Major for just 10 minutes, test rats changed the station.
Mouse With Two Moms Born in Lab
Promises a future where women are highly valued and men are next to worthless.
 
HIGH TECH
Smart Cars To Warn Drowsy Drivers
Smart aleck cars will warn, “Hey Einstein, don't want to interrupt your nap, but isn't somebody supposed to be DRIVING?”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Iron Tablets Shown to Dramatically Improve Women's Memory, Attention
FDA asks Congress to ban their sale in this country.
Highly Radioactive Fuel Rods Missing From Vermont Nuke Plant
Consumers urged to use caution if their maple syrup glows in the dark.
 
HIGH TECH
Theoretical Speed Limit for Transmitting Data Determined
It’s fast enough to send the equivalent of three hundred trillion unwanted e-mails every second.

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