Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 24 - 30, 2004
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MISCELLANEOUS
Dinner Service From the Titanic To Be Sold at Auction
First Lady Laura Bush says it might be "perfect" for the White House.
 
BUSINESS
Delta Air Lines Giving Away
Free Tickets to Passengers Who
Are Nice to Each Other

Passengers who are too nice to each other will be removed from the plane.
 
COLLECTING
1913 Nickel Sells for $3 Million
1913 dime expected to sell for twice as much.
 
RELIGION
Internet Virtual Church Opens
Aimed at those who usually play computer golf on Sunday.
SCIENCE
World's Largest Dipstick Proposed
Would determine amount of oil left in planet.
Rare Astronomical Event
Occurs This Week

Only time in next 200 years that the sun will pass between the Earth and the Moon.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
California School Program Helps Young Teen Boys Say "No" to Sex
They're shown special abstinence videos made by Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and J-Lo.
Plants Altered to Produce Fish Oils
Promises healthier vegetables no one will eat.
 
CORRECTION
  In our Answers to Last Week's Quiz, we gave C) Quagmire as the answer to question 5. After reviewing numerous reader complaints, we've determined that B) Black Hole of Endless Violence, D) Vortex of Evil, and E) Malignant Tumor, Sucking the Life Out of Our Nation As It Grows Bigger and More Horrible are also correct.

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