Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 28 - JULY 4, 2004
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PEOPLE
Man Who Hasn't Cut Hair in 31 Years Enters Guinness Record Book
Wife, who hasn't stopped drinking Guinness for 31 years, also enters record book.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Berkeley Will Vote on Initiative to
Legalize Prostitution in November

In home of Free Speech Movement, speech will still be free, but sex will cost you.
 
SPORTS
Carl Lewis, Jackie Joyner-Kersee to Be Featured on Wheaties Box
This year's U.S. Olympic squad to be featured on jars of Andro.
NBA: All Players Traded
Moves should help every team.
Athens: Olympics Preparations Experiencing Long Delays
Acropolis is 2500 years behind schedule.
TRAVEL
Wallet-Smart Summer Holiday Ideas
The Virtual Vacation - an exciting online computer experience the whole family will enjoy, and you don't have to take the car out of the garage!
Walking Tour of Your Neighborhood - so many unexplored treasures are right around the corner, and you never knew! This is the summer to find out about them - just unplug your phone and no one will know you're still at home!
Hop-a-Freight-Train Hobo Nostalgia Holiday - adventure and excitement abound for the young, and young at heart! Don't forget to bring a guitar, and a baseball bat for unwanted encounters!
 
FASHION
More Women Wearing Edible Dresses
More men eating cucumbers and orange slices.

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