Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 12 - 18, 2004
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PEOPLE
Barbie Reported Dating Aussie Hunk Surfer
“Blaine has taken me places Ken didn't even know existed,” she says of her new, younger beau.
Cleaning Woman Wins $294 Million Lottery
Registers Republican, calls for permanent tax cuts.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
World Court Signs Exclusive 5-Year Deal With CBS
They'll serve as judges at Miss World contest, make guest appearances on other network shows.
 
BUSINESS
Airlines Contend for Fitness Buffs,
Jet Blue Offers In-Flight Yoga,
Song Offers Exercise

American, United withhold food.
W Ketchup
Hits Grocers' Shelves

All proceeds go
to Nader campaign.
SCIENCE
Rocket Launched Carrying
Advanced Scientific Satellite to
Monitor Global Warming

It's successfully shot down in test of missile defense system.
 
Prickly Pear May Prevent Hangover
Study observed drunks after they'd mistakenly sat on one.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Deadly Chemical Fallout From Fire Retardant Now in All Household Dust
Details will have to wait until next TV sweeps period.
 
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
H. Ross Perot
The billionaire businessman and former candidate for president now resides in Dallas, Texas, at one of that city's most exclusive mental institutions, where he says he's doing “just fine.” Perot, who received 19% of the popular vote in 1992, only asks that people remember to send him plenty of “Slim Jims and Yoohoo.” Would he run again? “I'm thinking seriously about it,” he says with a mischievous grin.

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