Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUGUST 23 - 29, 2004
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ELECTION '04
Popular Web Spoof Making Fun of Both Bush and Kerry Having Impact on Race
Undecideds have jumped from 4% to 40%.
Theology Conference Concludes
Jesus Would Vote for Kerry

But he'd give money to Bush, just in case.
Bush, Kerry "Very Close" in
Latest Survey of Non-Voters

Of those who say they have never voted and never will, Bush leads Kerry, 48% to 46%, with 6% saying they won't vote for Nader either.
Campaign 04: Kerry-Bush Comparison Chart
Surprisingly, there are more similarities than differences. (see below)
MISCELLANEOUS
Munch's "The Scream" Stolen From Norway Museum
Museum Director Gunnar Pederson (right) reacts to news.
SPORTS
Chicago: City Threatens
Shutdown of Wrigley Field
Unless Cubs Allow Inspections

Officials want to examine shoddy relief pitching, deteriorating fielding and crumbling hitting.
Olympics: Some Tickets Still Available for Certain Events
But you'll have to pay scalpers' prices.
      KERRY   BUSH
  College   Yale   Yale
  Secret Society   Skull and Bones   Skull and Bones
  Coffee   Black, one sugar   Black, one sugar
  Favorite holiday   Christmas   Christmas
  Bats   Right   Right
  Throws   Right   Right
  Last book read   "9/11 Commission Report"   "9/11 Commission Report
1-Page Synopsis"
 

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