Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – SEPT 27 - OCT 3, 2004
page three

ENTERTAINMENT
Terminator 4 To Begin Production Next Year
Start date depends on availability of Arnold Schwarzenegger, shown campaigning with Vice President Dick Cheney (right) in the midwest.
 
BUSINESS
Wal-Mart Will Stop Selling
Protocols of The Elders of Zion

Retailer “reluctantly bows to the International Jewish Conspiracy to Take Over the World,” says spokesman.
"Million Millionaires March"
Planned for Washington

Group hopes to increase public awareness of their good fortune.
Prince Charles Promoting British Cuisine
Talks up virtues of boiled meat, warm beer on tour of continent.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Bush Defends Americans Against
Cheap, Unsafe Prescription
Drugs From Canada

Canadians “dropping like flies,” he says.
Government Report: Binge Drinking Costs Ireland $3 Billion a Year in Health Costs, Drunk Driving, Crime
But earns country $4 billion in tourism.
 
Californians to Vote on
Allocating Billions for
Stem Cell Research

Money would be used to develop cures for sagging breasts, droopy eyelids, double chins.
 
Study: Anger, Depression, Hostility Linked to Heart Disease
“What I've been saying for years, but the bastards wouldn't listen,” says author, in statement published posthumously.
EPA: 13 Percent of Water on
Airlines Unsafe

Agency wants to give passengers something else to worry about.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2004 Ironic Times