Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 18 - 24, 2004
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PEOPLE
Elizabeth Taylor Sued Over Van Gogh Painting
Former owner claims actress ate it, “frame and all.”
ENTERTAINMENT
FCC Hits Fox With $1.2 Million Indecency Fine
For airing 1.2 million indecent editorials.
Howard Stern Contract With Sirius Breaks Record for Shock Jocks
At $500 million, he'll be paid $1,213.87 for every drunk dwarf who throws up on a stripper.
 
BUSINESS
Spitzer Charges Insurance
Brokers Put Commissions
Over Value to Customer

Insurance companies say they are "shocked."
Victoria's Secret Offers
$10 Million Bra

Sadly, Tyra Banks not included.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: French Are Tops at 137
Sexual Encounters Per Year

Number includes encounters with rich desserts.
 
 
Implantable "Identity" Microchip Approved by FDA
People with multiple personalities (shown) may require more than one chip.
Report: Cellphones Cause Cancer
Users advised to call their doctor.
 
ELECTION'04
Nader's Mom Makes Rare Campaign Appearance
She's spotted visiting a retirement home in Arizona.
 
EDUCATION
Report: Most High School Students Not Prepared for College
78% lag behind in math, binge drinking.

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