Ironic Times

 NO. 220 "Expect the Ironic" NOV 29 - DEC 5, 2004 

Nov 22
Dec 6
 
RATHER TO LEAVE ANCHOR POST IN MARCH
Network looking for older, wearier replacement.
WORLD NEWS
Iraq Sets Jan. 30, 2005 Date for Elections
But experts think Jan. 30, 3005 may be more realistic.
Oil Discovered in Sudan
U.S. warns of “growing nuclear threat.”
 
CONSUMER NEWS
“5 Most Dangerous Toys”
List Released
If you have any of these, return them at once to place of purchase.
1.   So You Want to Be a Sword Swallower (Choking hazard)
2.   My First Taser (Instruction booklet confusing)
3.   Little Miss Makeover Kit (Prosthetic breasts prone to leak)
4.   Mr. Electric Chair (Shock danger)
5.   Fun With Euthanasia (Antidote not included)
U. S. NEWS
Holiday Shopping Season
Off to a Great Start

Thousands trampled to death.
Supreme Court to Rule On
Medical Marijuana

Justice Thomas cops an ounce for Chief Justice Rehnquist.
New CIA Director Cleans House
Fires all terrorism experts, Islamic scholars, translators; brings in people "friendlier" to administration.
 
REMINDER
    Only 27 miserable, stress-filled
    shopping days until Christmas.
 
House Republicans Drop Provision
In Budget Allowing Access to
Individuals' Tax Returns

But they saw yours before they changed it.
Study: More Than 36 Million Americans Went Hungry Last Year
White House blames "terrible service" at restaurants.
Camden, New Jersey Leads Most
Dangerous Cities List

Falluja is second.
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