Ironic Times

 NO. 223 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 20 - 26, 2004 

Dec 13
Dec 27
  EXPERTS UNANIMOUSLY PRAISE BUSH ECONOMIC POLICIES AT WHITE HOUSE SUMMIT
 
Gathering held in newly expanded Executive Echo Chamber.
WORLD NEWS
Pinochet Arrested, Charged With Murder, Kidnapping, Other Human Rights Violations
And, he has a nanny problem.
European Union Cautious About Closer Ties to Nation With History of Torture
But will begin talks with United States anyway.
 
EDUCATION
  Math Crisis: “Why Johnny Can't
Count” Replacing “Why Johnny
Can't Read”

Unfortunately, Johnny can't read “Why Johnny Can't Count.”
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Presidential Pet Resigns
Barney (right) cites “stress.”
U. S. NEWS
Pentagon Says It's Not Reviving
Department That Spread False
Info to Media

“Honest,” says spokesman.
In Test, Missile Defense System
Fails to Intercept ICBM

Bush hails "unqualified success" of ICBM.
New Allegations of Abuse By Marines
Marines' new motto: “We're looking for a few good apples.”
 
REMINDER
   A melting of the polar ice cap
   raises all boats.
 
FCC Clears Way for Cellphones on
Commercial Airliners

Now nowhere left on earth where person next to you isn't shouting into tiny device.
Air Force Report Blames Pilot
Of F-16 for Strafing New Jersey
Elementary School

However, school authorities also blamed for failing to effectively camouflage building.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Ohio Ballot Recount Reveals Kerry Won
President-elect “won't fundamentally alter” Iraq strategy.
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