Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 3 - 9, 2005
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PEOPLE
Court Voids Anna Nicole Smith's $88 Million Settlement
But she retains her dignity.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
"Jeopardy" to Host "Ultimate Tournament of Champions"
150 former champs return to vie for title of “smartest nerdy single guy in the world.”
 
FEATURE
The House Ethics Committee is proposing changes in the rules it enforces to make certain its members adhere to the highest ethical standards. Which one of the following changes is not among those either proposed or already enacted?
A ) Allow special interests to pay some of a member's official operating expenses.
B ) Increase number of family members allowed to go on junkets paid for by special interests.
C ) Increase amount of money special interests may spend on prostitutes for members.
D ) Abolish rule barring members under indictment for a felony from serving in leadership positions.
SCIENCE
Russia to Start Charging U.S. Astronauts for Trips to Space Station
They'll also have to buy their food from vending machines being installed on board.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Brit Medical Journal: Eli Lilly
Withheld Evidence of
Prozac/Suicide Link

Company deemed data “too depressing” and likely to lead to additional suicides.
Pfizer Gets FDA Approval for New Antifungal Drug
Side effects include dizziness, skin rash,
brain tumors, lawsuits.
 
BUSINESS
Tiny New Car Surprisingly Roomy
Seats sixteen circus clowns.
 
CORRECTION
In last week's story about the holiday blizzards covering much of the country, one sentence read, “Fortunately, many were forced to miss annual family reunions.” It ought to have read, “Unfortunately, many were forced to miss annual family reunions.” We apologize for the error.

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