Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 21 - 27, 2005
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PEOPLE
Anti-Fur Poster in China Offends Government Officials
In censored version, Pamela Anderson is wearing mink coat.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
This Year's Oscar Telecast
To Feature Sincerity

Should keep length of show to under ten minutes.
Warner Bros. Retires Old
Looney Tunes Characters

Bugs, Porky, Daffy, Elmer will look for voiceover work.
 
BUSINESS
U.S. Economy Transitions
From Information-Based to
Identity Theft-Based
Chart (below) made in China.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
St. John's Wort Could Be Best
Antidepressant Available

Double-blind study conducted on drug company executives depressed by finding.
Study: Coffee Prevents Liver Cancer
Irish coffee prevents liver cancer and heart disease.
 
Skulls of Oldest
Humans Discovered By Creationists

Fossils date back 10,000 years, to “the dawn of time,” says one.
 
SCIENCE
Study: Lobsters Don't Feel Pain When Submerged in Boiling Water
Just a sense of betrayal.
Monkey Manipulates Robotic Arm With Its Thoughts
Surprises researchers by repeatedly making obscene gesture.
Report: Stem Cells Approved
By Bush Administration
Contaminated by Mouse Cells

And some gazpacho from White House kitchen.

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