| WORLD NEWS |
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AHMAD CHALABI NAMED
IRAQ'S OIL MINISTER
Yes, that Ahmad Chalabi. |
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China Names Houston Rockets
Star Yao Ming Worker of the Year
Mao Tse Tung commits turnover in his
grave. |
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UN Treaty Makes it a Crime
for
Individuals to Possess Nukes
“Yet another assault on the 2nd
Amendment,” says NRA. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
California Still Leads Nation
in Smog
Most of it from governor's Hummers and
cigars. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
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Authorities Troubled by
Revival of Interest In Stalin
Especially in Kansas City, where
Boy Scouts (left) salute bust of
late Soviet dictator. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
On 30th Anniversary of Fall
of Saigon, Pentagon Ponders Lessons
Learned
While Baghdad burns. |
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Supreme Court to Rule on
Tribe's Right to Drink Hallucinogenic Tea
Decision will come after many strong cups
of coffee. |
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REMINDER
It's cheaper to buy a new one. |
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Wiretaps Up Last Year
Most of us now under surveillance
approximately 80% of the time. |
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False Alarm Sends Bush, White
House Staff Into Bunker
Everyone taken to underground shelter
except Tom DeLay. |
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| HIGH TECH |
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Bill Gates Introduces New
Wallet-Sized Computer
Easy-to-lose model sure to boost sales. |
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