Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 2 - 8, 2005
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ENTERTAINMENT
Next Spiderman Movie to Feature Captain America
 
They'll team up to do battle with Donald Rumsfeld (center), playing himself.
 
MEDIA
Chicago Tribune Apologizes for
Misidentifying Man in Photo as
Mafia Figure

Man says he enjoyed several days of complimentary drinks, dinners.
 
ART
Christie's Beats Sotheby's in Game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Wins Rights to Auction $20 Million Art Collection
But Sotheby's president gets to give Christie's president pink belly.
 
BUSINESS
First Flight: Huge Double-Decker Plane Can Carry 840
World's largest commercial jetliner accommodates 100 passengers in luxurious top deck, 740 more below in steerage.
SCIENCE
Cold Fusion Achieved in
Experiment at UCLA

Breakthrough promises limitless cheap, clean energy to run our coal-fired power plants.
Remote-Controlled Rats to Be
Used to Find Explosives

Or, in the wrong hands, deliver them.
 
FEATURE
The Environmental Conservation Organization is composed of:
A )Ordinary citizens devoted to conserving the environment.
B )Concerned scientists working to preserve natural resources.
C )A heavenly choir of archangels singing, “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace and good will to the ecology.”
D )Developers.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Only 3% of Americans
Follow Health Advice

You can see them, but only during visiting hours.

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