Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 23 - 29, 2005
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PEOPLE
England: Mystery “Piano Man” Finally Identified
He's Jake Spelvin, star of the new movie Forgotten Melody, about a concert pianist who loses his memory, currently filming in England.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
With Latest Release, Star Wars
Saga Finally Comes to an End
Despite that, fans line up at theaters for next installment.
 
ADVERTISING
U.S. Rules Against Advertising in Space
Ban will be total, with few exceptions.
LAW
Kansas: Hearings On Teaching of Evolution Continue
Some observers (right) are simply bored by it all.
SCIENCE
Human Embryo Cloning Promises Great Medical Breakthroughs
Number one priority, of course, will be cure for erectile dysfunction.
New Monkey Species
Discovered in Africa

New human species discovered in U.S. Senate.
 
RELIGION
 
Pope John Paul II On Fast Track to Sainthood
But first, he will have to be credited with two miracles. Here are the current favorites:
1) At exact moment John Paul II died, image of Virgin Mary appeared on Pop Tart about to be eaten by farmer in Guatemala.
2) In the 24 hours immediately following Pope's ascension into Heaven, there were no reports of child molestation by priests.
3) Television ratings for his funeral were second only to the O.J. Simpson trial.

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