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100° HEAT HITS SOUTHERN
CALIFORNIA
Hospitals treat thousands of celebrity
impersonators for dehydration. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Nuclear Proliferation Talks
Called “Hugely Successful”
Over 150 nations agree to continue
development of nuclear weapons. |
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U.S. Berates Syria
Demands to know why they can't control
their border. |
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Canadian Province Cuts Back
Suicide Hotline Hours
Weekend callers hear recorded message:
“Don't kill yourself. Call back
Monday.” |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
|
 Newly Created
Trump University Unveils
Fall Curriculum
All freshmen must take
“Introduction to
Inheriting Your Father's
Business 101.” |
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
Military Inquiry Finds No
Credible Proof Koran Was Flushed Down
Toilet
It was ripped up, stomped on, spit on,
peed on, defecated on, but never
flushed down toilet. |
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More Trouble for DeLay
Trips to Nevada brothels reportedly paid
for by Al Qaeda. |
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REMINDER
You may have stolen your identity
from someone else. |
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FBI's New Computer System to
Become Operational By End of 2006
That's when agency hopes to get through
to tech help, which “always seems to
be busy,” says spokesman. |
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Americans to Take 328 Million
Trips This Summer 50 Miles
Or More from Home
Mostly to buy gas. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
Dept. of Education Insists
All Schools Spend One Day Teaching
Constitution
What's left of it. |
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