Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 25 - 31, 2005 
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PEOPLE
Fatwa Reinstated for Salman Rushdie
Koran forbids trophy wives.
Bush Welcomes Indian Prime Minister to White House
Asks for help in deleting sensitive e-mails from his computer.
 
MILESTONES
Man Who Invented TV Dinner Dies
Of aluminum poisoning.
 
BUSINESS
Greenspan: Outlook Positive, Except For Housing Bubble, Oil Price Runup
Advice: sell home for gold, buy assault
weapon.
Gov. Schwarzenegger, Mickey Mouse Conclude Meetings
“We found many areas of agreement,” says Mickey Mouse.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Chinese More Ignorant About Sex Than Any Other Subject, Says Expert
Attributes population of 1.3 billion to “sheer luck.”
New Machine Measures Brain Activity, Can See What You See
You can watch it watching you watching it.
 
DEA Unearths First Tunnel Between Canada, U.S.
Passageway used to smuggle prescription drugs into U.S.
 
SCIENCE
New Driverless Robotic Cars
May Revolutionize Travel

People would have the ability to stay home all the time.
 
EDUCATION
U.S. Losing Lead in Science
And Engineering

Becoming dominant in quackery and superstition.

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