Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUGUST 1 - 7, 2005
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MILESTONES
Dagwood, Blondie Celebrate 75th Anniversary
Occasion marred when Dithers lays Dagwood off to save on health insurance.
 
SPORTS
NBA: Larry Brown to Coach
Knicks, Cavs, Nets,
Timberwolves, Trailblazers

Terms of deals not announced.
 
AMAZING TALES OF THE PARANORMAL

On July 13 after a terrorist attack, the U.S. military issued the following news release: “'The terrorists are attacking the infrastructure, the children and all of Iraq,' said one Iraqi man who preferred not to be identified. 'They are enemies of humanity without religion or any sort of ethics. They have attacked my community today, and I will now take the fight to the terrorists.'” Eleven days later, following a different terrorist attack at a different location, the U.S. military issued another press release quoting a different Iraqi man who preferred not to be identified. Amazingly, their quotes were identical!
FEATURE
There are some indications that the military bases the United States is building in Iraq are intended to be permanent. Which of the following is most indicative of this?
A )Larger bases include schools, parks, restaurants, movie theaters, banks, real estate offices and dozens of Starbucks.
B ) Wal-Marts under construction.
C ) Halliburton building retirement community for employees.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Japan: Friendly Beluga Whale Greets Guests
Guests at the Beluga and Brew restaurant in Hokkaido.
 
CORRECTION
Photo at left, illustrating proper three card monte technique, was mistakenly captioned, “Republican Senators plot strategy to sell repeal of Estate Tax.” It was supposed to accompany our story on street hustlers and con men. We regret the error.

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