Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUG 29 - SEPT 4, 2005
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TRAVEL
Indians Building Glass-Bottomed Walkway Above Grand Canyon
Local Upskirt tribe says it will celebrate opening with 3-day powwow.
ODDS 'N ENDS
President of Turkmenistan
Orders Ban on Lip-Synching

Ashlee Simpson's visa request denied.
Study: Cellphones Increase
Accident Risk

But then hasten arrival of tow trucks and ambulance.
 
SPORTS
Little League Toughens Steroid Policy
First offense, ten-game suspension; second offense, one year's salary.
 
ART
Scientists Discover Tintoretto Used Ground Glass in Pigments to Make Colors Sparkle
Purists demand his removal from Renaissance Hall of Fame.
FEATURE
The three major credit rating agencies, along with major banks and data collection companies, have accidentally exposed the personal data of millions of customers to identity thieves. What have these giant companies done to help the victims of their carelessness?
A )Notified those whose records were exposed, providing free details of the information which may have been stolen.
B )Introduced aggressive new security measures to make sure it never happens again.
C )Offered to sell the records which may have been exposed back to their customers, and sell them expensive insurance against further exposure of their records due to continuing carelessness at the companies.
Hint: The Yiddish word which best describes the correct answer is “chutzpah.”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Americans Suddenly Stop Driving
Saudi kingdom overthrown, air pollution disappears, life expectancy doubles.

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