Ironic Times

 NO. 270 "Expect the Ironic" NOVEMBER 14 - 20, 2005 

Nov 7
Nov 21
 
BUSH: “WE DO NOT TORTURE”
“Not that there's anything wrong with that.”
WORLD NEWS
First Five-Star Luxury Hotel
Opens in Kabul

Vital and long overdue, say opium traffickers.
 
MEDIA
Fox News Special Acknowledges Existence of Global Warming
Scientists rush back to their research, wondering where they went wrong.
 
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Ahmad Chalabi
A fugitive wanted for multi-million dollar bank fraud in Jordan, Chalabi was the main source of false information leading to war in Iraq. Later, he was accused of spying for Iran, causing the Bush Administration to completely discredit him and cut him off their payroll. Today, just twelve months later, he's visiting officials in Washington as Iraq's Deputy Prime Minister. How does he explain the stunning turnaround? “I guess somebody up there likes me,” he says with a twinkle.
U. S. NEWS
Republicans: Tax Cuts Will Help Poor
They'll keep more of their dividends, capital gains.
Senate Votes to Strip
Detainees of Legal Rights

Prisoner Without a Name, Cell Without a Number Bill passes easily.
White House Ethics Classes
Completed Successfully

Entire staff certified “100% ethical.”
 
REMINDER
  Machine guns don't kill dozens of
  innocent bystanders, people do.
 
Bush Job Approval Rating
Hits New Low

Rumor: he's asked his father to have his friends bankroll him in a new venture.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Government Unveils Online
Software to Help Seniors
Choose Medicare Drug Plan

Those with Windows can download it after disabling System Restore Points, changing Logon Password, reconfiguring Internet Cache Defaults, running Antivirus Utility.
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