Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 14 - 20, 2005
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LIFESTYLE
Naked Yoga Classes Gain Popularity in San Francisco
Primarily with window washers.
 
TRENDS
Woman Holds Up Three Banks
While Talking on Cell Phone

Will be charged with armed robbery and being incredibly rude.
 
ART
Rothko Painting Sets Record at Auction
$22.4 million most ever paid for work you or I could have done.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Bush Killed in Bicycle Accident
President Cheney assumes control, assures nation of “smooth transition.”
MILESTONES
Baby Boomers Turn 60; Greatest Generation 90; Beat Generation 80
Sandwich generation 50; Gen X'ers 40; Gen Y'ers 20.
 
FEATURE
What is the sentence you would least like to hear from your interrogators?
A )We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
B )We have ways of making you talk.
C )No one will hear your screams.
D )We're doing everything we can to protect the American people.
 
MUSIC
Score Handwritten By Beethoven Discovered
Had been used to wrap Brahms's lunch.

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