Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 12 - 18, 2005
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Army Falls Short of Recruitment Goals Again
Shown: new recruits await physicals in Lansing, Michigan.
 
BUSINESS
Coke to Introduce Coffee-Infused Cola
Aimed at meth addicts looking for a pick-me-up.
 
CONSUMER ALERT
All Acme Glow-In-The-
Dark Roses Recalled

They must be returned for immediate burial beneath Yucca Mountain in Nevada.
All HeadStart Pre-School Activity Tables Recalled
Sturdiness of three-legged “fun stations” may not meet federal safety standards.
ETIQUETTE
Dear Condi:
I recently subjected a terror suspect to torture and only later discovered he was not a terrorist after all. What can I say to him?
- Regretful in Romania  

Dear Regretful:
A nice card is appropriate. Here's the one I use myself:
 
ANSWER TO LAST WEEK'S PUZZLER
Correct answer was “Quagmire”
However, partial credit is given for “Pandora's Box,” “Can of Worms,” “Box Canyon,” “Snake Pit,” “Hornets' Nest,” “Booby-trap,” “Time Bomb” or “Minefield.”

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