Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 16- 22, 2006
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HIGH TECH
U.S. Government To Gift Citizens With New Robots
High tech wonders will aid in everyday tasks, observe your every move.
 
LAW
Arizona Judge Rules Fetus Doesn't Qualify as Person for Carpool Lane
Abortion foes say they will appeal.
 
SPORTS
More Stars Leaving College
Early to Declare for NFL Draft

Passing up additional year of Theory of Phys. Ed. courses in favor of wealth, fame.
 
FEATURE
Lynn Gibson, the former Director of the Young Leaders Program at The Heritage Foundation, is now the new Special Assistant for Conservative Outreach at
A )The Hoover Institute
B )The Federalist Society
C )Focus on the Family
D )The Republican Party
E )The Department of Labor
Hint: Don't let old ideas about what tax dollars can be used for influence your answer.

There's been some criticism about the No Child Left Behind practice test given in New York to determine which 3rd graders are qualified to move on to 4th grade and which aren't, specifically those questions related to tennis. All Americans know and love tennis. Anyone who doesn't know what “doubles” means, or that “a club” refers to “a country club,” just doesn't care about their education. It's like not knowing the difference between stocks and bonds! These failures will just have to stay in 3rd grade until they master the basics, or the rest of their lives will be one, big double fault, as if they even know what that means!
 
ODDS 'N ENDS
Ohio Police Find Woman Dead 2½ Years Sitting in Chair Watching TV
Waiting for something good to come on.
 
RELIGION
Japanese Teen Finds Pooh Image On Toast
Vatican “baffled;” Disney “may sue.”

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