Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JAN 30 - FEB 5, 2006
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PEOPLE
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Signs With Giorgio Armani
After talks break down with Ralph Lauren.
Michael Schiavo Remarries
Supreme Court rejects last-minute plea by Sen. Bill Frist to intervene.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
TV: WB, UPN Merge
Networks combine low-rated dramas, lowbrow sitcoms, third-rate wrestling to form “entertainment powerhouse.”
Buttafuocos, Amy Fisher
Returning to TV

In remake of The Seven Year Itch.
 
BUSINESS
Sex.com Sold for $12 Million
Abstinence.com sells for $11.99.
Study: Poor Work Performance
Blamed on Internet

You're fired.
Japanese Agency Hiring Out Robot Receptionists
Each programmed to say, “Sorry, this position has been filled.”
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Tracking Dollar Bills Helps
Scientists Follow Spread of Disease

And members of Congress.
Study: Sex Recommended to
Relieve Stress of Public Speaking

Before, not during.
 
SCIENCE
Last Year Warmest in 100 Years
So it's not just you.
 
Astronomers
Spot First
“Earthlike”
Planet

Virtually identical
to ours in every way, except media more skeptical of government.
 
CORRECTION
 
We erred when we reported that a pacifist had been given a small fine for a peaceful protest outside an Army recruitment office while a soldier convicted of torturing an Iraqi prisoner to death was given 6 months in prison. In fact it was the soldier who tortured and killed the prisoner who was given a small fine, and the pacifist who was sentenced to 6 months in prison. We apologize for any confusion.

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