Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – JAN 30 - FEB 5, 2006
page two

  New Comic Book Features Muslim Superheroes
Among them: Mumita (Faster than a Jew), Dr. Razem (Stronger than a Jew), Rughal (Invulnerable to Jews), Jabbar (Invisible to Jews) and Noora (Renders Jews invisible).
Our System of Checks and Balances

Our government consists of three, coequal branches: Legislative (the Congress), Executive (the President), and Judicial (the Courts). Congress enacts the laws, the President executes the laws, and the Courts interpret the laws. When the President has to sign a law he doesn't like, he adds a "signing statement" which says he doesn't have to abide by it. If the Courts say he does, he has someone whom he has employed for the purpose tell him he still doesn't have to abide by the law, so he doesn't.
Reading Comprehension Question: Which of the three branches of our government can pretend the other two don't exist?
Despite declining to act against Alito, Democratic Senators say they're still prepared to use the filibuster against a Supreme Court nominee who would do which of the following?
A )Allow the President to hold suspects indefinitely, without access to lawyers and without charging them with a crime.
B )Allow the President to use torture.
C )Allow the President to secretly wiretap Americans without a warrant.
D )Vote to overturn Roe v. Wade.
E ) Turn the government over to a coalition of the Mafia and Alien invaders from another galaxy in return for large cash bribes and good seats at the Super Bowl.
Hint: Only one answer is correct.
Super Bowl Preview: Simulation
Picks Seahawks

Government computers responsible for new prescription drug plan predict Seattle will win, 187 to 4.

   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times