Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 13 - 19, 2006
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PEOPLE
Bin Laden's Niece To Star in Own TV Reality Show
Cameras will follow typical show biz wannabe seeking success in Hollywood – who has a crazy uncle.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Worldwide Box Office Receipts Down Nearly 8% in 2005
Maker of Raisinettes files for bankruptcy.
Broadway: Musical Version of Brokeback Mountain Closes in Rehearsals
Producers announce auditions for Crash: The Musical.
 
FEATURE
Regarding the recent sectarian violence in Iraq, who said, “I do not believe it has deep roots”?
  A ) Bugs Bunny
  B ) Austin Powers
  C ) Homer Simpson
  D ) General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Hint: You don't have to be imaginary to have a vivid imagination.
SCIENCE
Spacecraft Spots Water Geysers
On Moon of Saturn

Could prove existence of theme park.
Theory: Parallel Universes Can Collide With Disastrous Results
All phone calls would be disrupted, or at least very confusing.
 
 
Study: Hummingbird Has Small Brain, Long Memory
Bush proclaims it National Bird.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Gay Partnerships Improve Health
Public urged to enter into one.
Study: Caffeine in Coffee Beneficial to Some, Detrimental to Others
How about another cup?
 
CORRECTION
 
In a recent article on mine safety, we reported that the Bush Administration responded to the 26 deaths in mining accidents so far this year by increasing penalties for mine safety violations and stepping up enforcement of mine safety laws. In fact, they responded by decreasing penalties for mine safety violations and relaxing enforcement of mine safety laws. We apologize for any confusion caused by our mistake.

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