Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – MARCH 20 - 26, 2006
page three

POLITICS
Katherine Harris To Stay in Florida Senate Race
Will spend $10 million of own money on mascara.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Employees Following
NCAA Tourney Cost Employers
$237 Million

Unless they win the office pool.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Studio Politics: Warners Gives to Dems, Disney to Republicans
Among notable contributors:
 
Republican Party Democratic Party
Scrooge McDuck: $2.8 Million Daffy Duck: 110,000 North Korean Wons ($50,000)
Mickey Mouse: $850,000 Porky Pig: $18,000
Goofy: $475,000 Bugs Bunny: $999
Huey: $100 Sylvester: $500
Dewey: $100 Tweety: $250
Louie: $100 Yosemite Sam: $1
(Note: Foghorn Leghorn, of Warners, gave $50,000 to the Republican Party.)
SCIENCE
Latest Data: Universe Went From
Size of Marble to Current Size in
One Trillion-Trillionth of A Second

The rest is history.
Scientists Get Ready to Study
Climate Change for International
Polar Year

Pack up measuring instruments, food, surf boards.
Researchers Create “Mental Typewriter” That Moves Cursor With Thoughts
Promises future offices filled with workers playing solitaire without using their hands.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New England Journal of Medicine: Most Americans Receive Mediocre Health Care
But great commercials.
Study: Nearly Half of Older
Widows, Widowers Through
Grieving in 6 Months

Some in six days.
 
CORRECTION
Last week we reported that a recent study found long-term marijuana use led to memory loss. We already, it seems, reported on that study the previous week. And the week before that. We apologize for any confusion.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times