Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 5 - 11, 2006
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ENTERTAINMENT
Batwoman Returning as Lesbian
Batman and Robin returning as heterosexuals.
Studio Announces Straight-to-DVD Movies
Plans to churn out low-budget stinkers so bad they'll become oddball cult favorites in the future.
 
BUSINESS
Microsoft Explains Delay in Release Of New Windows Operating System
Computers were down.
Washington Nationals Revenue Continues to Soar Due to New Seating Arrangement
SCIENCE
2,400-Year-Old Scroll Left on Funeral Pyre Deciphered by New Technology
It reads: "Place kindling, larger pieces of wood on pyre, light scroll, stand back."
Study: Arctic Was Once Like Florida
Hot, humid, lots of bad drivers.
 
 
Obesity Epidemic in Cats Causes Concern
Experts blame too much TV, not enough mice.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Teens Who Pledge Chastity Until Marriage Often Lie
As do teens who claim they're getting a lot of action.
Schools in Several States
Sending Home Notes Saying,
“Your Child Is Fat”

Especially helpful for parents who are only dimly aware they have a child.
 
RELIGION
Vatican Rumor: Pope John Paul II
On Fast Track to Sainthood

Vatican bookmakers say he's already neck and neck with Mother Teresa.

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