Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – JULY 3 - 9, 2006
page two

PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Post-Tsunami Companions Decide to Call it Quits
End of friendship between tortoise, hippo blamed on “irreconcilable differences.”
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Study: Adding Weights to Children’s
Toys May Make Them More Fit

Recommended: Nerf Shot Put, Big-Boned Barbie, Mr. Watermelon Head.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Write Your Own News Story! Just fill in the blanks of this Reusable News Template:

New evidence has surfaced that _______, executed for the murder of ______ in ____, was innocent of the crime. According to _____ and _____, the real killer was _____, who died in ______. Evidence that the wrongly executed man was __ miles away at the time of the murder was ignored by police and not presented at trial. ____, an eyewitness who identified the real murderer was not called to testify, and other exculpatory evidence including ____ and ____ was either lost or suppressed. _____, a court appointed attorney who represented the wrongly executed man and who died of alcohol related causes in ____, slept through most of the trial. "We still believe we got the right guy," said _____, who prosecuted the case.
FEATURE
Since 2000, lawmakers took 23,000 privately funded trips worth $50 million, often paid for by groups with legislation before Congress. Typically these trips were to:
A ) Third world sweatshops where lawmakers could evaluate the problems of poverty.
B ) Environmentally devastated areas where lawmakers could probe illegal logging and mining operations.
C ) War zones where lawmakers could investigate war profiteering, corruption and the misuse of public funds.
D ) Golf, beach and ski resorts where lawmakers could study four star restaurants, luxury hotels.
E ) Mars.
 Hint: It ain't Mars. Try another answer.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: One in Four Americans
Has No Close Confidant

Except for Oprah Winfrey.
 
SPORTS
Doping Scandal Interrupted Again
By Tour de France.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times