Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – JULY 10 - 16, 2006
page two

THE WAR
Timetable for Troop Withdrawal Announced
Should help military families make plans.
 
Number of Troops   Withdrawal Date
20,000   Sometime soon
18,000   Before too long
16,000   When the time is right
17,000   At the appropriate moment
19,000   When we’re good and ready
15,000   Later on
12,000   In due time
14,000   One of these mornings
10,000   In the sweet by-and-by
8,000   Some sunny day
6,000   Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Webster's Adds “Google,” “Mouse Potato,” “Drama Queen”
Drops “Ask,” “Think,” “Mature.”
 
SPORTS
Isiah Thomas Trades Himself to Sacramento
For cash and GM/coach to be named later.
POLLS
Americans Differ on What,
Whom to Fear Most

Majority name terrorists, gays, some existential void.
 
FEATURE
The Senate Appropriations Committee has voted to fund environmental programs for 2007 at:
A ) a level commensurate with the increasing threat of global warming.
B ) a level reflecting a balance between the need to control spending and the need to control poisons in our air and water.
C ) the lowest level in this century.
 Hint: It's a young century.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times