Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUG 28 - SEPT 3, 2006
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PEOPLE
NY Post: Bin Laden Obsessed With Whitney Houston
Plastered walls of Tora Bora with her picture; Zawahiri smitten with LaToya Jackson.
 
EDUCATION
Evolutionary Biology Suddenly Vanishes From Approved Federal List
Much like dinosaurs.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Forbes: Milwaukee Rated America's Drunkest City
With America's most disgusting sidewalks.
 
SPORTS
College Football: NCAA
Approves 12th Game

Additional revenue will be used to hire more tutors.
World Strip Poker Championship Well Underway
Like figure skating, women's division more popular.
FEATURE
The president says anybody who opposes his warrantless spying program doesn't understand what kind of a world we live in, revealing:
A ) a pre-9/11 mentality.
B ) a pre-Constitution mentality.
C ) a pre-Magna Carta mentality.
Hint: Life was a lot simpler in the 12th century.

An official of the Iraqi Interior Ministry, in comments echoed by U.S. military officials, described the killing of 22 Shiite religious pilgrims as:
A ) “another tragedy” for the Iraqi people.
B )“another disappointing failure” for U.S. and Iraqi security forces.
C ) “an extraordinary success,” since more pilgrims were not killed.
Hint: in Iraq everything is relative.

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