Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 2 - 8, 2006
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ART
New Evidence: When Portrait Painted, Mona Lisa Had Just Given Birth to Second Son
And somebody else was taking care of him.
 
RELIGION
Bush's Own Church Holds
Week of War Protests

Pastor calls him “the devil.”
Entire Bible Now Available on Cellphones
Useful for reading of last rites after fatal car crash.
 
SPORTS
Saints Make Triumphant Return to New Orleans Superdome
Defeat Falcons despite hundreds of evacuees still living there.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week we erroneously hailed "the amicable settling of differences between Hamid Karzai and Pervez Musharraf." The line should have read, "the amicable settling of differences between Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera." We apologize for any confusion.
POLITICS
Monday: Be afraid.
Tuesday: We're protecting you.
Wednesday: Be very afraid.
Thursday: Thank God we're protecting you.
Friday: Red alert: panic!
Saturday: We foiled new terror plot just in time, details classified.
Sunday: Democrats soft on terrorism.
Next Week: Same as Above.
 
EDUCATION
Report: Federal "Reading First" Program Awash In Favoritism, Conflicts-Of-Interest, Mismanagement
Will now be known as Reading Last program.
Private Online Tutoring For
U.S. Kids Outsourced To India

Finally: hope for American education.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Congress Gives President Power to Detain, Torture Anyone For as Long as He Likes
And there's nothing you can do about it.

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