Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 13 - 19, 2006
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NEW PRODUCTS
Bra That Converts To Shopping Bag Comes in Handy
Especially at nudist camp gift shops.
 
TRAVEL
Athens: Massive Restoration Begun On Acropolis
When completed, tourists will find upgraded restrooms, a new food court and an IMAX theater.
 
SPORTS
More Trouble for U.S. Track Athletes
Top two male sprinters (right) suspended after testing positive for banned hormone.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Vocabulary Builders
pickle n. difficult situation as in, when the last contractor follows Bechtel out of Iraq, the U.S. military, whom they supply, will be in a ~ .
The United States will replace the current government in Iraq with a strongman to go after the Madhi Army of Muktadr al-Sadr, the Shiite cleric who wants the U.S. out,
A ) when conditions on the ground require it.
B )when the Iraqi military stages its own coup.
C ) a week from Tuesday, after everyone in the White House has had breakfast.
Hint: It's very unpleasant to have to make a lot of phone calls on an empty stomach.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
St. Louis Named Most
Dangerous City

Due to collisions between those seeking to escape violence in New York, Los Angeles.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, due to an editing error, we reported that our presence in Iraq had "achieved a major milestone." It should have read, "become a major millstone." We apologize for any confusion.

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