Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 20 - 26, 2006
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MISCELLANEOUS
Man Outlasts All Others in
Marathon Poker Tournament
 
Shown: winner (second from right) grabs final pot with ace-high flush.
 
INTERNET
Study: 1% of All Web Sites
Deemed Pornographic

And they account for 99% of all revenues.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: GM’s Swap Overpaid
Troublemaker for High-Salaried
Head Case

And an expensive big pain in the ass to be named later.
New Oakland A's Ballpark to Feature Laptops at Every Seat
Fans can search web's vast database to find embarrassing, possibly humiliating information about opposing pitcher.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Vocabulary Builders
accountability n. vengeful pursuit of partisan payback by extremists, as in “we seek ~ for crimes against humanity.”
FEATURE
Name That Ministry!
Located in the Green Zone, it's entirely staffed by members of the Mahdi Army, the Shiite militia controlled by Muqtada al-Sadr. Sunni officials seeking supplies have disappeared inside its grounds, never to be heard from again. Known for kidnapping and murder, it is:
  A ) The Defense Ministry.
  B ) The Interior Ministry.
  C ) The Health Ministry.
Hint: Take a couple of aspirin and don't call in the morning.
 
RELIGION
Members of Biblical ‘Lost Tribe’ Moving From India Back to Israel
Missing road map found under front seat.
 
PUBLISHING
Newspapers See More Consolidation; Layoffs Expected
Orangutan News, Chimpanzee Daily Mirror, Gorilla Post, Bonobo Tatler to be replaced by one paper, Ape Times.

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