Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 25 - 31, 2006
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PEOPLE
Britney Spears Criticized for Hair Extensions, Crotch Shots, Bad Company
Her spokesperson says she should be judged by a lower standard.
Bush Claims to Be Reading “King Leopold's Ghost,” Scathing Indictment of Disastrous Belgian War on Congo
Says it helps take his mind off Iraq.
Obama Advised to Change Name, Skin Color, Beliefs
But be himself.
BUSINESS
Big Corporations Fear Boost In
Minimum Wage

Tremble at thought of kid taking orders at McDonald's making enough to actually eat there.
Toyota Expected to Surpass
GM in Sales in 2007

Sushi expected to outsell hamburgers by third quarter.
SCIENCE
Due to Climate Change, Bears
Have Stopped Hibernating

Some question whether they still shit in woods.
52 New Species Discovered in Borneo
We were new to them, too.
 
New Warning Issued About Obesity
To folding chair manufacturers.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
FDA Puts Suicide Warning for
Young Adults on Antidepressants

Unfortunately, label itself is depressing.
 
CORRECTION
 
In a recent report on the mood of the country we quoted this Los Angeles Times portrait of a local woman: "Despite growing despair she senses no critical mass of indignation . . . People are paralyzed and impotent, collectively resigned to the regime’s failures, corruption and stranglehold on all economic levers." In fact, the woman was in Havana, the country she was describing was Cuba. We apologize for any confusion caused by our mistake.

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