Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JAN 29 - FEB 4, 2007
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PEOPLE
Martha Stewart Trains for Next Shuttle Flight
She'll be part of crew assigned to “spruce up” space station.
Big Fan: Scooter Libby Committed to Memory Every “Star Trek” Episode
He's currently on trial for not being able to remember leaking classified information.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
New Show Preview: “Scripted
Comedy Program”

This may be the ultimate reality show: six professional actors are hired by producers to appear in a weekly 30-minute sitcom written entirely by professional writers and directed by professional directors. Can it be done? Viewers will decide.
 
BUSINESS
Pfizer to Cut 10,000 Jobs
Mostly lobbyists.
Kraft Sued for Claiming Capri Sun Drink “All Natural”
“It's not unnatural or supernatural,” says lawyer for Kraft.
SCIENCE
NASA May Have Inadvertently
Killed Life on Mars

“Shit happens,” explains NASA spokesman.
Study: Daydreaming is Brain's
Default Setting

Conclusion: we're meant to goof off.
 
 
World's Largest Atom Smasher to Begin Operations
First chain reaction could explain universe, or destroy it.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Nobel Winners Live
2 Years Longer Than Those
Merely Nominated

Statistics don't include Nobel winners who were murdered by those merely nominated.
Researcher Creates Caffeinated Doughnuts
For the cop on the go.
Harvard: Cigarette Makers
Increased Nicotine Levels by
11% in Last 8 Years

But didn't pass cost on to consumers.

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