Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 5 - 11, 2007
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POLLS
Public Divided About What’s
Going on in Iraq

Some say “Building democracy,” others, “Genocide.”
 
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Savings at Lowest Rate Since Depression
But, adjusted for inflation, apples still a bargain.
Study: Lighter Skin Means
More Money

Enough to afford a nice tan.
 
Women Make Slight Gains in Latest Workforce Data
Mostly in entertainment industry.
SPORTS
7' 9" Sun Ming Ming Signs With U.S. Basketball Team
Shown: Sun (right) stands next to big brother Yan, who is 11' 10".
Colts Will Beat Bears, 29-17, in Next Week's Computer Simulation
According to what happened in game played by humans in Miami.
White House Shares Its Run-Out-the-Clock Strategy
 
1. Note that your team is way behind in final quarter.
2. Move ball down court as slowly as possible.
3. Once over half-court line, move ball around perimeter.
4. When defense pressures ball, move center or forward into post.
5. Pass ball inside to post.
6. When defense collapses on post, pass ball back out to perimeter.
7. Move ball around perimeter.
8. Continue run-out-the-clock offense until clock runs out.

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