Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 12 - 18, 2007
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BUSINESS
Al Gore Introduces “Global Warming Beach Ball”
Provides constant reminder, while frolicking in the surf, of our imminent demise.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Condoleezza Rice May Be Most Skilled Secretary of State Ever
On the piano (though critics say John Foster Dulles played with more feeling).
 
SPORTS
To Stop Riots, Italy Bans
Spectators at Soccer Games

Fans can view action at special stadiums set up to show live broadcast.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
GPS Shoe Keeps Track of Wearer Anywhere on Earth
When in trouble, click heels together three times and help arrives.
FEATURE
A Saudi Arabian court sentenced 20 foreigners to jail time, lashings for:
A ) terrorist activity.
B ) abusing their domestic servants.
C ) attending a party where men and women danced, alcohol was consumed.
Hint: Men and women dancing together!?
 
EDUCATION
Summers Succeeded at
Harvard by Woman

He says university wanted someone who “isn't as good with numbers.”
Princeton Closes Controversial
ESP Lab

As predicted.
Harvard Announces New Curriculum After Critique From Conservatives
Will revert to core religious studies as originally designed in 1636.

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