Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEB 26 - MAR 4, 2007
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ENTERTAINMENT
Original Maltese Falcon Stolen From San Francisco Restaurant
If you have any information as to its whereabouts, contact its owner, Sidney Greenstreet.
With Change in Congress, Expect
Shift in Broadcast Standards

Republicans fought to put more violence on TV, Democrats will demand more sex.
 
BUSINESS
R.J. Reynolds Introduces “Camel No. 9” Cigarettes for Women
Aimed at smart, successful, independent women who've never heard of cancer.
New Super Jumbo Jet Shows Off First-Class Amenities
Airbus A380 offers full-length conference room (shown), cocktail lounge, spa, lap pool, bowling alley, putting green and driving range.
SCIENCE
Female Chimps Seen in Wild Using
Spears to Hunt Small Animals

And philandering mates.
Archeologists Discover Tomb of
Akhenaton’s Seal Bearer

Official followed pharaoh around placing seal on podiums for news conferences.
 
 
“Blackberry Thumb” Now 2nd Leading Injury Among Young Professionals
Behind only “Bluetooth Ear.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Recall Issued For “All 6 oz. Packages of Oscar Meyer/Louis Rich Chicken Breast Strips With Rib Meat, Grilled, Fully Cooked, Ready To Eat”
Includes bacteria causing lysteriosis, also grilled, fully cooked, ready to eat.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Unnoticed Provision in Defense Budget
Makes it Easier to Declare Martial Law

You'll be notified where to go and what
you can take with you.

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