Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEB 26 - MAR 4, 2007
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SPORTS
Obscure Sport Of Elephant Basketball Embroiled in Controversy
Animal rights activists demand league switch to synthetic ball.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
First Beaver Spotted in
NYC in 200 Years

Also, first fur trapper.
 
KIDZ KORNER
History Quiz
In his famous Farewell Address, George Washington
A ) warned against "foreign entanglements."
B ) told an entertaining story about being abducted by aliens and taken aboard their flying saucer for medical experiments.
C ) encouraged Americans to fight wars in distant lands to spread freedom, as remembered in last Monday's tribute by President Bush.
Hint: according to historians, B) is more likely than C).
FEATURE
In a new initiative Attorney General Gonzales has asked 20 million Conservative Christians to alert the DOJ to any potential cases of religious discrimination. It’s called:
A ) War on Christmas 24/7 Program
B ) Atheist Intimidation and Harassment Project
C ) Spreading the Holy Word of God: the Litigation
D ) Hallelujah! The Justice Department!
E ) First Freedom's Project
Hint: It's all about Freedom
 
TRAVEL
Tourism Down in Crawford, Texas
Experts blame Cindy Sheehan's busy schedule.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Talking Urinals Debate Their Effectiveness
One says “we save lives,” other says “we're a waste of taxpayers' money.”

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