Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 5 - 11, 2007
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FASHION
Fall Fashions Unveiled
Women get peek at what they'll be wearing in October.
 
LAW
Supreme Court: Man Injured by
Police in 90 MPH Chase on
Two-Lane Road Used Turn
Signals Properly, Says Lawyer

Also tried to maintain safe distance from pursuing cop.
Ohio Bill Would Require Sex
Offenders to Use Fluorescent
Green License Plates

And wear fluorescent green socks.
 
ART
Picasso Paintings Stolen in Paris
Police release composite sketch of two thieves (right).
 
SPORTS
Spring Training Gets Underway
Lab technicians, lawyers report.
FEATURE
The Justice Department has replaced two U.S. Attorneys, one who prosecuted Randy "Duke" Cunningham, one who refused GOP pressure to charge a Democratic official. Of the five other U.S. Attorneys forced to resign between 1981 and 2006:
A ) One "bit a topless dancer in the arm during a visit to an adult club after losing a big drug case."
B ) One was caught on videotape grabbing a TV reporter by the throat.
C ) One was taken aboard a UFO and never heard from again.
Hint: two of the three answers are correct.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Pennsylvania Restaurant Offers 123-Pound Hamburger
Served with trans fat-free fries.

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