Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 2 - 8, 2007
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CONSUMER ALERT
Public Warned About Flavored, Candy-Colored Meth
Chocolate, peanut butter, grape (shown) flavors have “no food value whatsoever.”
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: 30% Don't Use Internet
They go outside, talk to other people, read books, newspapers.
 
WAR ON TERROR
  Profiles from the Department of
Homeland Security's Potential
Terrorist Target List
 
  Potential Target:   The Kangaroo Conservation Center, Dawsonville, Georgia  
  Purpose:   Dedicated to the preservation of kangaroo species through captive breeding and public education.  
  Terrorist Target Opportunities:   KangaRanger tour bus through park where tourists may encounter 300 kangaroos. Aussie Walkabout Area, hike through Billabong, Wild Australia Show, also: Butterfly Garden, Gift Shop  
  Location:   Ninety minutes from Atlanta.  
  Next up:   Illinois Apple and Pork Festival  
FEATURE
Identify the source of the following e-mail exchange: “Please don't forget the money you promised Jim and Dawn.” “Don't you ever send this kind of message to me! Erase this message from your computer right now!”
A ) Bad TV show.
B ) Bad novel.
C )Corruption probe of former GOP Congressman now Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons by recently fired U.S. Attorney in Nevada.
Hint: The U.S. Attorney was fired for incompetence. It had nothing whatsoever to do with this investigation.
 
SPORTS
Baseball Season Begins
American sports fans' attention turns to spring football practice.
NCAA to Dump Basketball Playoffs
Would replace unpopular “March Madness” with bowl system.
NFL Decides to Make Instant Replays Permanent
Officials are reviewing replay of decision.
 
ART
New York Gallery Cancels Show Featuring Naked Chocolate Jesus
Following complaints from diabetic nuns.

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