Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 7 - 13, 2007
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MISCELLANEOUS
Canada Debuts $1 Million Gold Coin
Easier to carry than a million in bills.
 
EDUCATION
95-Year-Old Woman Becomes Oldest Person to Receive College Degree
Can't find job, saddled with debt, living with parents.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Vocabulary Builders

coincidental adj. having a false appearance of being related, as in “The resignation of the Interior Department official responsible for altering scientific reports on endangered species one week before Congressional hearings on the subject is ~.”

terrorist n. anybody who is killed in a U.S. military action in Iraq or Afghanistan.
FEATURE
The Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem of the Upper Green River Valley in Wyoming is going to become a Federal Preserve for:
  A ) Pronghorn antelope
  B ) Elk and mule deer
  C ) Seven-headed fire-breathing dragons from Pluto
  D ) Gas companies
  Hint: Bush is still President.
 
SPORTS
NBA: Study Finds More Fouls
Called on Black Players

Teams begin stocking up on white players.
Streakers Limber Up as Training Camp Opens
First big event on schedule: Wimbledon.
 
TRAVEL
New Airline Debuts With $10 Fares
Off-peak, standby, alternating Tuesdays, between New York and Newark.

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