Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – MAY 21 - 27, 2007
page three

PEOPLE
Blair Begins His Retirement
Shown: enjoying a relaxing game of tennis.
Mel Gibson Making Good Progress in
Rehab, Says Judge

Now believes Jews only caused “most” wars.
 
BUSINESS
Cerberus, Buyout Firm, Buys Chrysler
Analysts expect new owners to build factories, add jobs, bolster workers' health plan and pension fund.
David Stockman Charged With Securities, Bank Fraud, Conspiracy, Obstructing an SEC Investigation
Faces another trip to the woodshed.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Umbrella With Internet Access Keeps You in Touch
Only drawback: it doesn't work in the rain.
FEATURE
The United States is protecting its citizens by building a big bioweapons lab in:
A ) an uninhabited section of the southwestern desert.
B ) a suburban area outside D.C. where high officials of the Department of Homeland Security live.
C ) one of the more accessible portions of the Moon.
D ) an urban neighborhood in Boston, populated mostly by minorities.
Hint: it’s not on the Moon. Guess again.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: U.S. Health System Ranks Last Among Wealthy Nations
But tops in hot-looking doctors.
Study: Blood Pressure Rising Globally
Due to overeating locally.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2007 Ironic Times